“The wall always lies”
he said as we made small talk on the way up the hill.
How many ways do we kid ourselves and lull ourselves into a silly sense of playing the real game?
How do we effort and invest ourselves in busy work that shrinks our story and lessens our light?
I play tennis everyday
Against a wall
My bones are brittle and my body is bruised
But I still can put on a good show
So when a kid walked by and said – “You want to hit?” – I wasn’t too put off by the USTA T-shirt
I was unprepared for the onslaught of embarrassment I brought upon my brittle body and evaporated ego.
After all – I frequent the wall.
The wall is a lie
A trick I play on myself – for myself – that I’m still in the game
But when the game comes to you – not to embarrass or impress,
But just to be what it is- real and raw, it holds up a mirror.
You can look away.
But you can’t hide and pretend you were in it all along
I said – sometime later on the way down the hill –
“Hey I haven’t played much in a while but before this…….I thought I was hitting pretty well.”
After all -
On the wall.
He said with a smile, a second time now – with evidence and our fresh experience to tether this truth
“The wall always lies “
And of course, it's true.
If you are going to play the game – play it right and play it real
The wall is happy to delight in your delusion
But in the end – when we play it soft and small and seek out and sneak about the safety of the shade.
We fool nobody but ourselves.
